Oy, Valentine’s Day.

I am usually pretty cheerful.  I’m single right now, but there’s something I like about that (usually)!  There’s freedom! I never have to compromise. I cook whatever I want! I run when I feel like it! I sometimes don’t shave my legs.  I like the sense of possibility; of knowing that at any moment, I could stumble into something really fabulous.  I’ve done some dating, but recently decided to take a bit of a break. I met some really wonderful, fantastic guys, but I just wasn’t feeling it.  So, I decided to take a little breather until I was ready to get back into the game.  I’d know when it felt right.

Then along comes Valentine’s Day, making me so constantly aware of my singleness. Making me feel BAD about my singleness:  What’s WRONG with me? Look at all these Happy Couples!  Why am I not part of a Happy Couple?  Oh, I am so terrible and so, so very SINGLE!

To top it all off, my hip has really been hurting me this week.  I ran 5 miles on Monday and have been limping around ever since.  So I decided to take yet another little break to give this strain time to heal up before my 7 mile run on Saturday.  This did not help with the “being sort of bummed out” thing.  By yesterday, I was in a full-on funk.

I woke up feeling very grouchy, which is unusual for me.  I decided to cheer myself up by wearing my favorite sparkly sweater to work.  Before I left, I looked in the mirror:

“Stupid sparkly sweater,” I thought.  “It looks so dumb!”  I wore it anyway.

On my way to work, I listened to Nirvana loudly and ran a red light. “Stupid red light,” I muttered, “you’re not the boss of me!”

After work, I got stuck behind a Dodge minivan embellished with snappy electric blue racing stripes.  “Well done!!” I shrilled to the minivan from behind my steering wheel. “You’ve managed to make the stupidest-looking vehicle on Earth look EVEN STUPIDER! YOU MUST BE SO PROUD!”  And then I yelled some more things that weren’t nice and listened to Nirvana even louder.

When I got home, I decided it was time for an intervention.  This nasty mood had to go.  It was time to pull out the Big Guns, and the Big Guns have a name:  Reuben.  Vegan Reuben.  This is what it took to get the job done:

Rye bread (stupid rye! at least it was vegan stupid rye!)

Sauerkraut (who puts sauerkraut in a bag?! WTF, Kroger?!)

Fake bacon (I used vegan tempeh bacon and IT WAS GOOD, DAMMIT)

Delicious sauce (Nothing snarky to say here, I could drink it:  Veganaise + catsup + celery seed + splash of vegan soy sauce + dill relish)

I toasted the bread with some fake, vegan butter in the skillet, then assembled the sandwich.  When I sat down to eat it, I felt all the vitriol melt out of my heart like the processed vegan butter I used on the rye.  It was…magical. *tear



Tonight I kept my love affair with processed foods going, making a recipe I’d spied online for a grilled-cheese-sandwich-cum-jalapeno-popper (toasted bread with vegan cream cheese and sour cream and a bit of shaved vegan pepper-jack if you have it, sprinkled with jalapeno slices).  It was also quite delicious, even though it pushed the boundaries of my relationship with vegan cheese.  

Tonight, well into the dreaded V-day, I can say I’m feeling pretty good.  I’ve added TWO solid sandwiches to my repertoire (and I think BOTH of them could even pass muster with non-vegans), and my hip is finally feeling better.  Life’s good.

And I haven’t given up on Mr. Cupid just yet.  You never know what’s waiting around the corner. 😉