Today is my 35th birthday. I can’t say why exactly, but I’ve been really dreading this one. It just seems so…old.  

I don’t feel old. I don’t look old (or at least I don’t think I do!). I don’t act old.  So how did this happen?!? Soon I will be looking down the barrel at – gulp – forty!! I’ve struggled to maintain some sense of perspective on this (as well as a sense of humor). It’s been tough, as I don’t have many of the significant markers so many others my age have – 2.5 kids and a mortgage.  I’ve had to remind myself, over and over, that I’ve chosen a different path in life. I don’t feel SAD that I don’t have these things. I don’t feel any pressing desire for them. (I’m leaving the door open, mind you! Maybe someday I will want these things. Just not today.)  But then, how DO I measure my life? How DO I measure my success?  

Happiness, perhaps?  Health? Financial stability? I’m still not sure. It’s a weird, vaguely exhilarating sort of unease when you find yourself far afield from your peers. I’ve always known I wasn’t following a traditional path; I suppose this is the first time I’ve looked around and realized I was more or less by myself. There are no markers here because these are uncharted waters. That’s sort of scary! But also sort of freeing! I was wavering between finding this really scary and really liberating, and then I saw this video.

I’m going with liberating. 

<p><a href=”http://vimeo.com/81533752″>35 and Single</a> from <a href=”http://vimeo.com/newyorktimes”>The New York Times – Video</a> on <a href=”https://vimeo.com”>Vimeo</a&gt;.</p>

Happy birthday to me! 

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