Archives for posts with tag: deep thoughts

Two years ago today, I was in India! We were about ten days into our yoga teacher training and our yoga teacher, the incomparable, always smiling Babu, suggested we attempt 108 sun salutations as a way of celebrating the summer solstice. As we were practicing classical suriya namaskar (in which one round is actually comprised of TWO salutes, one leading with a right leg lunge and the next with a left leg lunge), we only made it through 54 rounds. Technically, we DID complete 108 salutations, but at the time it felt like a failure to me. Even though, at the end of the 54 salutations, we were all sweaty, some were shaky, and some had given up alltogether.

It’s not about completing 108 Sun Salutations, I realized this winter as I sweated and trembled through 108 sets of suriya namaskar (A! I have yet to attempt classical!) on a yoga mat far, far away from India and my wonderful teacher. It’s not some kind of physical challenge, some kind of “Yoga Achievement – Unlocked!”. Seeing something through to completion is important, no question. But this exercise is about something more than that. It’s about devotion. It’s about surrender. It’s about finding humility. Bowing down one hundred and eight times, no matter what your personal beliefs are, you can’t help but get deep, man. What or who are you bowing to? Why are you on that mat? Why prostrate yourself one hundred and eight times?

Maybe it is just a physical challenge for some. For me, it’s become a crucial ritual in my personal yoga practice. It’s a chance twice a year to get humble, experience gratitude deeply, pray for peace, and set intentions for the next six months. One hundred and eight times.

Happy Solstice to one and all!

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Today is my 35th birthday. I can’t say why exactly, but I’ve been really dreading this one. It just seems so…old.  

I don’t feel old. I don’t look old (or at least I don’t think I do!). I don’t act old.  So how did this happen?!? Soon I will be looking down the barrel at – gulp – forty!! I’ve struggled to maintain some sense of perspective on this (as well as a sense of humor). It’s been tough, as I don’t have many of the significant markers so many others my age have – 2.5 kids and a mortgage.  I’ve had to remind myself, over and over, that I’ve chosen a different path in life. I don’t feel SAD that I don’t have these things. I don’t feel any pressing desire for them. (I’m leaving the door open, mind you! Maybe someday I will want these things. Just not today.)  But then, how DO I measure my life? How DO I measure my success?  

Happiness, perhaps?  Health? Financial stability? I’m still not sure. It’s a weird, vaguely exhilarating sort of unease when you find yourself far afield from your peers. I’ve always known I wasn’t following a traditional path; I suppose this is the first time I’ve looked around and realized I was more or less by myself. There are no markers here because these are uncharted waters. That’s sort of scary! But also sort of freeing! I was wavering between finding this really scary and really liberating, and then I saw this video.

I’m going with liberating. 

<p><a href=”http://vimeo.com/81533752″>35 and Single</a> from <a href=”http://vimeo.com/newyorktimes”>The New York Times – Video</a> on <a href=”https://vimeo.com”>Vimeo</a&gt;.</p>

Happy birthday to me!